Many people compare their mates to others. They become frustrated when their mates don’t send them flowers on the job like their co-workers’ mates do. They complain that their mates don’t write them love letters like the ones their friends received. They become angry because their mates don’t say “I love you” every day. They voice that they no longer possess those burning desires for their mates, the longings they initially experienced. They admit that the feelings are gone; and the excitement has disappeared. They look around and see other couples kissing and hugging, and they want the same for themselves.
I understand wanting these things; I am a romantic by nature. However, have you ever stopped to examine the depth of your relationship? Has it ever occurred to you that your mate loves you in the way he or she knows how? Let me ask you a few questions. If you are sick, will your mate go out in the freezing weather and get you the medicine you need? When you look your worse, will your mate cuddle with you, not requesting you fix up first? When you’re going through a difficult time, will your mate do his best to support you? Does he bring home things to make your life easier? Does she cook your favorite meals or keep the house in order?
Sometimes we ask people to love us in ways they don’t know how to love us. We may require romantic gestures, and we expect our mates “to know” that we require these things. Instead of verbalizing what we need or want (in non-threatening ways), we get angry and hold grudges when our mates are doing their best.
Am I asking you to settle in your relationships? No. I am not. But I am saying when you start comparing your mate to another person, you are asking for trouble. Sometimes we want the superficial but overlook things that build strong foundations. Sometimes we long for what others have, not realizing we have a better deal at home.
So beware my friend if you have become discontented because you think your mate doesn’t measure up to someone else. Don’t make the mistake of discarding your good thing for a thing that “looks good.” Remember, the grass on the other side of the fence may look greener, but when you get there, you may discover it’s artificial turf instead of the real thing.