Years ago, a friend and I went to a restaurant in order to conduct a non-scientific experiment. Our goal was to observe couples and try to determine by their behaviors whether they were married or dating singles. We assumed they were married (to each other) if they had rings on their fingers.
We agreed to watch the couples from the time they got out of the car until they finished their meals. Our theory was that married couples interacted and communicated less than those who were dating.
We looked for several things in our unsuspecting subjects:
Did the man open the door for the woman?
Did one walk in front of the other, or did they walk side by side?
Did they hold hands during the outing?
During the meal, did they make eye contact?
Did either one of them touch the other?
Did they talk during the meal, or did they eat in silence?
Did they smile at each other?
As we suspected, those without rings fulfilled more of these actions than those with rings. As a result of this flimsy data, I developed a hypothesis that dating people communicated and interacted more than married people.
However, as I matured and entered the ranks of the married, I realized that couples who have been together for a long time have ways of communicating with each other beyond the mere use of words. They can sit in each other’s presence and communicate volumes. Where dating couples may have to express everything verbally, some long-time married couples can express things with looks or gestures. Situations can arise, and they automatically know what his or her mate wants or needs. Longevity has the potential of inspiring an unspoken language, a language that is deeper than what others may see.
After coming to this conclusion, I destroyed my initial hypothesis. I realized that one group may interact with their mates differently, but it doesn’t mean one way is superior. It only means they communicate and interact with each other based on what works for them.