Just Asking… (Do you realize you can get angry without allowing anger to control you?)

It is not a sin to get angry. In fact, every person has been angry at some point in his life. The danger is not getting angry, but the danger lies in the way a person handles anger. Instead of processing his feelings with others, an angry person may shut down and bury his feelings. When he does this, his anger does not disappear; it turns into depression. Another may hold his anger in until it reaches a boiling point. As a result, his anger spills over at the most inopportune times. He may lash out at the simplest thing, sometimes at something that is not related to the initial issue. Someone else may throw fits and temper tantrums at will. When he feels the least bit agitated, he inappropriately lashes out at others, causing a ruckus wherever he goes.

 

Anger is a secondary emotion, masking other feelings that lurk beneath the surface, feelings such as hurt or fear. When one feels angry, he should stop and evaluate what’s causing the anger. Is he hurt by something? Is he afraid of something? Does he feel threatened in some way? Does he feel disrespected by someone? Knowing the reason one is angry can help him better process his feelings and assist him in reacting more appropriately.

 

It is not wise for a person to act out in anger unless anger propels him in a positive direction. Sometimes anger motivates a person to make changes. At other times, it prompts him to move beyond his present condition. In these cases, reacting due to anger may initiate corrective actions.

 

However, it is never wise to hurt, belittle or abuse someone due to anger. This only makes the situation worse. When a person allows his anger to control him, he does things that he may later regret. He acts out because of his emotions, many times ignoring his better judgment.

 

Regardless of what a person thinks, he has control over his anger. If he has lived a life of acting out in anger impulsively, he may need assistance to learn new coping mechanisms, but even in that, it is a choice. So a person controlled by anger needs to stop making excuses and use the power that’s within his grasp. He needs to put anger in its proper place: under his control.

Books by Levon

 

 

 

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