Monthly Archives: October 2015

Just Asking… (Do you make good decisions?)

As we travel through life, we will make many decisions. Some of them will promote joy and peace in our lives, while others will inflict pain and suffering. Some decisions may seem unimportant now, but they have long-lasting effects, while others are shrugged off and forgotten. Some decisions are made in the spur of the moment, and some are made after considerable thought. Some are influenced by negative circumstances and events, and some are spawned by encouraging mentors. Some are made because of our “gut feelings” or intuition, while others come after much agonizing. Regardless the catalyst behind our decision-making, we are bombarded with opportunities to make decisions on a daily basis.

 

In order to make a decision, there must be options. A person may experience a struggle, conflict or question, and at a select moment in time, he mentally allows one of his choices to weigh heavier than the other choices. In other words, he favors one option, allowing it to triumph. As a result, he aligns himself with a particular side.

 

As mentioned earlier, this can be quick or gradual. The decision can be beneficial or destructive. It can have little impact or be far-reaching.

 

Think about the decisions you have made. Are your decisions producing positive results in your life, or are they causing pain and suffering? Remember, each decision carries a consequence (either positive or negative). You can choose your decisions, but many times the outcomes are unforeseen. So give yourself a better chance of succeeding: put some thought into your decision-making. More than likely, this will work in your favor and save you from unnecessary anguish.

Books by Levon

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Just Asking… (Are you willing to put in the preliminary work in order to have a successful relationship?)

When an experienced painter is preparing to paint the interior of an old home, he doesn’t just throw on a new coat of paint then lackadaisically goes about his business. If his aim is to do a professional job, he takes specific steps to ensure his success. First and foremost, he cleans the old surface of all debris. Once that is done, he patches all visible cracks. It seems that the surface is ready to be painted at this point, but it is not. The professional painter sands the patched surfaces then he applies a primer, a substance that provides sealing and bonding properties, making it easier and more functional for the topcoat of paint. After he completes these steps, he is ready to apply the paint color of his choice.

 

If a painter knows he has to take specific steps in order to have a luscious, painted room, why do people think they can gloss over their pain of past relationships and jump straight into another one without experiencing any discomfort? Why do people believe that it doesn’t take preparation to build a life with another human being? Why have they deceived themselves into thinking that they can forego communication and allow their current feelings to conquer inevitable challenges that relationships face? Why won’t they take the time to prepare, giving themselves a better chance of being successful, before being lured into intimate relationships by their emotions?

 

If you are contemplating entering a relationship, use the wisdom of a professional painter. Don’t jump headlong into a relationship with your eyes closed. Instead, do your best to prepare for success. Prior to the leap, take necessary steps to deal with old wounds. Make it a habit to take care of yourself. (You can’t love someone else if you don’t first love yourself.) Get “relationship counseling” from a trusted advisor. Read books about healthy relationships. Communicate. And most importantly, give the relationship time to blossom. If you take the preliminary steps of building a healthy relationship, it could save you from taking painful terminating steps of separation or divorce.

Books by Levon

Just Asking… (Do you realize you must make a “clean break” from some things?)

Experts in the field of chemical dependency advise alcoholics and addicts to change people, places and things if they want to live productive lives. They stress to those seeking sobriety that they must rid themselves of things that defile, distract and destroy. They don’t suggest making gradual shifts; they suggest making drastic changes because their clients’ lives are in jeopardy. Those who are physically addicted may need substitutes to help make this process smoother, but on a whole, the old way of doing things will no longer work if they desire happy, gratifying lives.

 

It is the same when someone is trying to move away from negative situations and people. At times, making gradual changes is not an option. There are instances that call for radical life changes, tearing oneself away from the person or thing that destroys. It may be tempting to move away slowly, but this slow detachment may result in the person falling prey to the same temptation or struggle repeatedly.

 

Look at your current situation. Is there something that requires a drastic change? If there is, then you must muster the courage to do so. If you can’t do it alone, seek support from a trusted friend, spiritual leader or professional. Don’t play Russian roulette with your life. Get the help you need to make that “clean break,” and get it now. Tomorrow may be too late.

Books by Levon

Just Asking… (Do you realize that visiting too much will weary your host?)

I read something the other night that compared visiting someone too much to overindulging with chocolate candy. That particular comparison never dawned on me; but as I mulled over the metaphor, I realized that the author made a valid point. In essence, he was suggesting that too much of a good thing can make you sick.

 

Don’t get me wrong, it’s wonderful to have friends and family with whom you can mingle and socialize. At times, it may be acceptable to pop in unannounced (depending on the person you’re visiting), but when you habitually  visit without an invitation, you are treading on thin ice. Even if the person doesn’t confront you directly, his body language may indicate that you are crowding him. He may become distant, even throwing sarcastic remarks that seem unrelated to what’s really bothering him. On the other hand, he may smile and say the right things, but his true feelings may reveal themselves in subtle ways.

 

You may be oblivious his subtle cues, and that only makes the situation worse. If he’s afraid of hurting your feelings, he will simmer in anger, or unexpectedly blow up at you for a seemingly insignificant reason.

 

Therefore, if there’s someone you love to visit, use wisdom. Don’t visit too often, and don’t stay too long. You always want your host’s doorbell to signal a welcomed guest and not an invading intruder.

Books by Levon

Just Asking… (Do you realize that reading will expand your mind?)

When was the last time you read a book or some other reading device? Did you read because you were in school, and it was on the mandatory reading list? Did you read because you were doing a research paper, and you needed the information? Did you read because the title is on the best sellers’ list, and you wanted to be among the in-crowd? Or did you read just for the pleasure of reading? Regardless the reason for picking up that book (or other reading mechanism), reading is a way to expand your mind.

 

One of the joys of reading is that it can expose you to the lessons that others have learned. Many times, you can avoid pitfalls by learning from others; thereby saving you a lot of heartache. It can also provide you with information so that you won’t have to begin a project blindly. In many areas, others have experimented with ideas and strategies, and they have discovered reasons why some things work and why some things don’t. Reading can save you a lot of valuable time in such areas. Reading can also take you on journeys that you may never take in the natural, and it can expose you to people of different cultures. Reading can inspire you to move towards your goals, and it can help you understand situations that may be foreign to your world. Reading can even provide you with an avenue of escape; it can be relaxing and exhilarating all in one.

 

So if you find yourself in a lull, pick up a book (or other reading mechanism) and explore something new. Read about science, religion, fiction, regions or anything that peaks your interest. However, choose your topics wisely, then read, read, read!

Books by Levon