When an experienced painter is preparing to paint the interior of an old home, he doesn’t just throw on a new coat of paint then lackadaisically goes about his business. If his aim is to do a professional job, he takes specific steps to ensure his success. First and foremost, he cleans the old surface of all debris. Once that is done, he patches all visible cracks. It seems that the surface is ready to be painted at this point, but it is not. The professional painter sands the patched surfaces then he applies a primer, a substance that provides sealing and bonding properties, making it easier and more functional for the topcoat of paint. After he completes these steps, he is ready to apply the paint color of his choice.
If a painter knows he has to take specific steps in order to have a luscious, painted room, why do people think they can gloss over their pain of past relationships and jump straight into another one without experiencing any discomfort? Why do people believe that it doesn’t take preparation to build a life with another human being? Why have they deceived themselves into thinking that they can forego communication and allow their current feelings to conquer inevitable challenges that relationships face? Why won’t they take the time to prepare, giving themselves a better chance of being successful, before being lured into intimate relationships by their emotions?
If you are contemplating entering a relationship, use the wisdom of a professional painter. Don’t jump headlong into a relationship with your eyes closed. Instead, do your best to prepare for success. Prior to the leap, take necessary steps to deal with old wounds. Make it a habit to take care of yourself. (You can’t love someone else if you don’t first love yourself.) Get “relationship counseling” from a trusted advisor. Read books about healthy relationships. Communicate. And most importantly, give the relationship time to blossom. If you take the preliminary steps of building a healthy relationship, it could save you from taking painful terminating steps of separation or divorce.