Just Asking… (Do you realize that a wayward adult child can still cause his parents pain?)

Have you ever witnessed an individual who seems bent on doing wrong? Regardless of the support and encouragement he gets from those who care about him, he decides to do things his own way in his own time. Instead of listening to the voice of wisdom, he rejects it and chooses to follow the wrong crowd, listening to the wrong voices. He tells himself that he has a right to live his life as he pleases, and his choices affect no one but himself. He reasons that he is an adult, and no one can tell him what to do. He is correct on one level; he can choose to live his life as he pleases (however, consequences will follow his actions), but he is wrong on another level. Many times, his bad choices and actions cause pain and grief to those who love him.

 

Oftentimes, loved ones (especially parents) will enable that wayward individual, trying to shield him from negative consequences. They may give him money (supporting his bad habits), pay his bills, lie for him, etc. Instead of allowing him to learn from his repeated mistakes, they try to soften his blows by intervening when it is evident that the person has no intention to change.

 

One of the antidotes for a situation like this is to begin to allow the individual to experience the consequences of his actions. This may seem harsh, and it may be difficult to do, but if loved ones have tried other methods and they haven’t worked, maybe they should quit bailing the wayward individual out of trouble.

 

I’m not recommending that you give up on the wayward adult. I’m only suggesting that you stop being the middleman. Allow him to experience consequences for his actions. When life throws him enough negative blows, he may come to the place that he sincerely desires change. When this occurs, you can offer your support, but only in ways that will promote and not impede his progress.

Books by Levon

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